by Kristen Constantino
photography by Linday Semple

To have and to hold from this day forward. For better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, till death do us part.

These vows are meant to last a lifetime. A commitment to be someone's lifelong partner is an important decision too often forgotten by people who do not have the momentum to fight life's battles. Although it is a hard one for some to make, others just know they were meant to be together, no matter what their ages may be. It is not uncommon to see teen-agers getting married shortly after high school graduation, nor is it unusual to see fellow classmates wearing wedding bands.

In addition to handling the hassles of earning a college degree, some students at Kent State University are simultaneously experiencing the responsibilities of marriage. Not only are they trying to pursue successful careers, but they also are trying to pursue a healthy married life with their spouses. Although they admit their lives became somewhat more complicated after pronouncing "I do," they are quick to point out that married life is well worth the extra headaches.

'It Just Seemed Dumb to Wait'
A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person. -Mignon McLaughlin, U.S. journalist and author

Growing up together and attending the same high school and church provided a firm foundation for Jodi and Louie Scalzo's relationship.

"Our families were friends, and I was best friends with Louie's sister," 20-year-old Jodi says.

After she graduated from high school, Jodi went to Southeastern College of the Assemblies of God in Lakeland, Fla., where Louie was a senior. As they became closer, they both knew they would someday get married. After Louie graduated, he moved back to Ohio, and Jodi stayed in Florida to finish school. After a year-and-a-half of dating, she transferred to Kent State, and on Nov. 22 they were pronounced husband and wife.

"We knew we wanted to get married, and it just seemed dumb to wait," she says. "We had the finances, and being with him outweighed everything else. We were ready to make that commitment." Jodi is now a full-time nursing major and works part-time as a waitress. Louie, 24, works full time and is a youth pastor at Victory Life Church in Stow. They are active with their church on Wednesdays and Sundays and often participate in weekend activities.

"Sometimes we go away for the whole weekend with the church, and it's hard knowing that I have a test the next Monday," she says. "But it's worth it because I'm able to see Louie more."

Jodi says school is sometimes a hassle because she still has to study when she gets home, in addition to the other responsibilities that come with being married.

"Working part time is OK because I work at the Hartville Kitchen, and I only work until 8 p.m. on weekdays and on Saturday mornings," she says. "During the week, it's hard to handle everything because I want the house to be clean. Sometimes we just can't do it all."

After Jodi gets home from school around 3 p.m., she tries to straighten her two-bedroom townhouse in Akron, exercise and make dinner. She says she usually does most of the housework because Louie works all day.

"We both share responsibilities," she says. "Sometimes when we're both tired and busy and we haven't made time for each other, we have disagreements. Sometimes I feel he puts other things before me, but I know that's not the case."

Jodi says her relationship with her husband comes first, and having God in their lives is the most important aspect of their marriage. At first it was hard to adjust to living with someone else, but it was rewarding at the same time. "I'm a really clean kind of person, and Louie used to live with three guys," Scalzo says. "He tries to be neat and straighten things out, but it's not the same kind of clean I like."

Scalzo says it was also difficult to fall asleep at night when they first started living together. She was used to having a big bed all to herself and felt somewhat claustrophobic when she had to learn to share one.

'We Knew We Wanted to Be With Each Other'
One does not fall into love; one grows into love, and love grows in him. - Karl Menninger, psychiatrist.

Angela Thomas, 22, was married to Bryan, 23, one week before she started college. They have been together for almost five years now and have a son, also named Bryan.

"We dated for two years before we were married," she says. "We went to different high schools, and we knew we wanted to be with each other. We just didn't want to wait to be married."

Angela is majoring in health education and works part time in the university library. Bryan works full time for Konica Quality Photo in Hudson. After Angela graduates in about two years, Bryan will go to school while she works full time.

When they were first married, Angela says most of their arguments were sparked by money issues. Now they usually argue because of stress and a lack of sleep.

"Sometimes we'll make a joke of what we're arguing about," Thomas says. "We'll realize we're both just grumpy, and the disagreement isn't even worth the energy. We usually end up laughing about it."

Thomas says they are successfully handling their marriage and child.

"It helps to have a wonderful husband," she says. "He does his share of cleaning and sometimes has dinner ready for me."

Angela says she and her husband decided to have a child at a young age because she was having medical problems, and different doctors were giving her different diagnoses. She knew it was easier to have children at a younger age, so they decided it was the right time. Anglea says she has always wanted a family.

"In high school, I was voted 'Most Likely to Have the Biggest Family.' I wanted six children," she says. "I want to have at least one more child when I'm out of college."

"We Do Our Fair Share"
We love the things we love for what they are. - Robert Frost, poet.

Dan Caton decided to get married at age 22 because he felt he was at a good transition point in his life.

"I knew my wife, Rhonda, for two years, and I knew I would marry someone someday," he says. "that's just something I've always wanted. It's been one of my little dreams in life to get married and have a family. I desired companionship, and Rhonda and I are in a very close relationship, and we desired to be together. It has just been a personal goal of mine, and I couldn't think of anything I wanted more."

Dan knew it was time for him to move out of his parents' house when he started to feel pampered. He decided to move out and get married at the same time so there would be two incomes to cover expenses. Because he was against living with a person before marriage, they were united on May 24, 1997.

A full-time student studying media sales and management, Dan is co-owner of Mosher Video Services in Hudson. He and his partner videotape weddings and high school events. "Right now we're in the off-season, so I'm going to school during the day and working at night and on Saturdays," he says.

Dan expects to graduate in 1999. He says he is able to spend a lot of time with Rhonda during the mornings and evenings. They live in an apartment in Stow.

"Friday nights are our times together," Dan says. "In the summer, I would like to get a full-time job, so we'd both be working at the same time. But I think everything is going well."

Dan says it is easy when he goes to school part time because he can help out with the work at home.

"We do our fair share at home," he says. "I take cleaning as a big responsibility because I'm not the big breadwinner right now. Rhonda is working full time in the accounts payable department at Akron General, and it's just common courtesy to help each other out."

He admits they each have their own pet peeves, and it takes some time to get used to them.

"She seems to have a problem with my throwing my clothes on the floor," he says, "and I had a problem adjusting to her neatness. It seems that a lot of men aren't used to the house having to be decorated a certain way, or they don't make a big deal about the towels having to be hung on the rack. We are no exception."

Dan says money is also a subject of their disagreements.

"When you're married, money always seems to be a problem, but in the end, a couple is supposed to share their income," he says. "what's the use of getting married if you're going to be selfish?"

Dan says his father was skeptical about Dan's getting married at a young age.

"When I told my dad I was thinking of proposing, the first words out of his mouth were, 'you're too young.' When I asked him how old he was when he was married, he said, 'That's different.' He was about 22 or 23 years old when he was married, too."

Soon afterward, Dan's father realized the marriage was going to happen and gave his blessing.

We didn't have much financial support from our families," he says, "so we cut a lot of corners to pay for our wedding."

Dan was able to rent his tux for free. They made their own invitations on a personal computer, and they had a family friend bake the wedding cake. Rhonda's brother, who had his own sound equipment, performed the duties of disc jockey.

Dan's friends also had doubts about his early marriage, but he says he and his wife are very happy.

"My wife was also skeptical about living on our own because we both had just moved out of our parents' house," he says. "But we love each other and couldn't get enough of each other. We're always on the same wavelength. But I have my own personal faith and faith in God, and that's what keeps us going. That is what gave me the confidence."

He says they are planning to buy a house. Their golden retriever, Tyler, has exceeded the 25-pound weight limit their apartment complex allows. "We either have to move or get rid of the dog," Dan says. "So, Tyler will stay with our parents and sort of house hop until we find a place."

The Catons bought Tyler as their first Christmas present to each other.

"he's a good dog, but he's just getting too big," Dan says.

'On Solid Ground'
The difficulty with marriage is that we fall in love with a personality, but must live with a character. - Peter De Vries, author.

The Rev. Chuck Graham, a campus minister for United Christian Ministries, offers premarital counseling to student couples, and he says every minister has his own format and pre-packaged programs. Graham's first session is an acquaintance period, and the first question he asks is, "Why do you want to risk your future happiness with this person? And you're not allowed to say, "I love him/her." "I do this not to be mean but to see if there is more to the relationship," he says. "I want to identify the qualities of the relationship, not just the physical aspects."

Graham wants the couple to be aware of finances, children and any other conflicts that may arise during the marriage.

"The purpose of this is not that I have all the answers," he says, "but within my readings and dealing with other couples, these are things I've learned they need to come to terms with."

As a campus minister, Graham comes into contact with students who are looking for a religious service but do not have a church connection. He hopes the service will have a positive impact on the couple and will give them a fresh viewpoint of the church.

"I would like to plant a seed before they are married," he says. "I would like them to start attending church now rather than waiting until they have children years down the road."

Graham says he has to be honest in a gentle but forthright way. He wants couples to understand and identify their commitment to one another, He wants to make sure they share an affection.

Since coming to Kent in 1981, Graham says three-fourths of the marriages he has performed were for college students, and he says he is comfortable with it. Counseling usually lasts for two or three sessions.

Graham says it takes two people to get married, and if there is a secret to a successful marriage, it's communication.

"Couples just have to remember that the single most important thing in a relationship is being able to share, talk, fight and argue in a way so as not to dominate each other, but to express different opinions," he says. "Then the relationship will be on solid ground."