Students reveal just how much they’d do to get a little action in the dorms
Story by Steven Harbaugh
Photo Illustrations by Amy Mitten
Warning Signs
story | Jessica Rothschuh
An indiscreet sign reading “Gettin’ jiggy wit’ it” hangs from a doorknob in Heer Hall. Philip Coron, a freshman nursing major, says it signals when his roommate is having sex with his girlfriend. The sign resulted from an uncomfortable situation.
“Basically, they were almost naked, and I walked in,” Coron says. He finds the sign on the door nearly every afternoon. “I’m going to start planning out my day around it,” he jokes.
Door signs are just one way for college students let their roommates know they’re getting busy. Other signals get more creative than tape over the keyhole or a rubber band on the doorknob:
• “We’ll tape a penny to the door because everybody knows what the rubber band on the doorknob means.” —Kristen Tassone, sophomore theater major
• “The doors are like giant erase boards, and if you wrote ‘Rick Springfield called,’ then that meant don’t come in.” —Laura Eastman, senior nursing major
• “I’ve seen hair scrunchies and the ‘do not disturb’ signs (students) got from the condom people in the student center.” —Neal Linder, security guard and junior accounting major
• “I took my nametag off, I put it by the doorknob in the crack of the door. I guess (my roommate) didn’t notice. I should have marked it clearer.” —Kansas Williams, sophomore visual communications design major
But not everyone appreciates the free-wheeling nature of the college sex life.
Sophomore political science major Brian George recalls a story about his particularly vindictive friend.
“His a--hole roommate just used to do all these wicked hot chicks on (my friend’s) bed. So eventually, he just got a black light for the room,” George says. When the two roommates got into an argument, the black light was flipped on.
“Semen all over everything: computer, Donkey Kong memorabilia—everything.”
It happens behind closed doors. Sometimes it happens in study lounges. Sometimes in residence hall showers. And sometimes even on the washing machines. And in lecture halls. And in bathrooms. And on stoves.
It’s sex in the residence halls. And with 74 percent of 18- to 24-year-olds saying they are sexually active—according to a national research study by Boost Alcohol Consciousness Concerning the Health of University Students, or BACCHUS—it’s clear that sometimes sex intertwines with the cramped communal living arrangements of the dorms. It poses new problems—and sometimes a slew of smirk-inducing, incriminating incidents to be shared at parties.
The most common story came from students recounting their embarrassing close encounters of the naked kind—walking in on their roommates doing the deed.
Philip Coron, a freshman nursing major, opened the door to his Heer Hall room to reveal writhing, nubile college flesh doing the horizontal tango on the bunk bed.
“I just walked in, and they were doing s--- in the bed. Basically, they were almost doin’ it,” Coron explains.
After the shock and dismay wore off, Coron introduced the “Gettin’ jiggy wit’ it” sign for the door to signal that lovemaking was occurring and to prevent further mishaps. (See sidebar for more on “Warning Signs.”)
Coron laughs it off and says he plans on retaliation soon—retaliation of the sexual kind.
Cody Demster, a sophomore exploratory major, lives in Allyn Hall and opts for a safe approach to sexual exploits.
Demster’s roommate leaves most weekends, and while he’s gone, Demster invites his girlfriend over for private, uninterrupted quality time. Demster stresses kindness and courtesy to his living mate and says it is important to draw boundary lines: His girlfriend visits only on the weekends.
But other roommates don’t have it quite so easy.
Don’t Come In
Josh Coles, a sophomore biology major, came home one evening to discover a sign on his door marked, “Don’t come in.”
Coles chose to respect the privacy of his roommate and came home the following day.
When he entered, what he found disturbed him.
“The next morning, I see that my futon is flipped,” he explains. “I hear my roommate come in, and he’s talking on the phone about how he let this random kid and other girl come back to our place last night.”
Raising his eyebrows and making a face of utter disgust, he says, “He pretty much rented the room out for other people to have sex!”
Coles says the incident resulted in the demise of the living arrangements, and he moved out as soon as he was able.
Other students don’t go the route of putting up a sign as a courtesy to their roommate.
Photo Illustration by Elliott Cramer
Some roommates are courteous when entertaining guests. Others
are not so thoughtful, and the roommate has no idea what he or
she is about to walk into.
Joshua Muncy, a sophomore fashion merchandising major, had company over one night while his roommate was still in the room.
“The next day he said to be sure to inform him if I’m going to have ‘friends’ over to not wake him,” Muncy says, noting that he doesn’t do that often.
Other stories feature much more public places.
“I’m at karaoke in the Rathskeller having a good time, and I went to the bathroom,” recounts Jae Lerer, a freshman integrated language arts major. “And in the far stall, someone was getting a blowjob. It was 10:30 at night, and all I know is that a couple guys came out at the same time.”
An anonymous source admitted to having sex in a lecture hall in Bowman Hall, another lecture hall and then in a bathroom in the Michael Schwartz Center—all on the same mid-August day before school started.
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