The Hype

Howard lost her virginity when she was 15. She says she felt pressure from her boyfriend at the time, and the experience wasn’t what she thought it would be.

“I thought I was in love,” Howard says, pausing before she speaks again. “But the whole thing was really weird at first, and when I look back now, I wish I would’ve waited. I was just a baby then.”

Jamie Howard says she regrets losing her virginity at the age of 15. {larger}

Howard says it wasn’t until a four-year relationship with someone she cared about that she was able to fully appreciate the act.

“Being with someone you really love puts it on a whole different level,” Howard says. “After that experience, I can’t see myself sleeping with someone I’m not in a relationship with.”

Kim Syme, senior marketing major, feels the same but says sex “wasn’t really a big deal” for her.

“I lost my virginity when I was 16 to a guy I dated for a long time, and we’re still together,” Syme says. “I think it’s helped our relationship because it gives us a stronger connection.”

Mike Dempsey, sophomore sports management major, has slept with eight to 10 people and makes no apologies.

“It’s not the only thing I look for, but it helps to have a good sexual relationship,” he says. “I have no problem staying with one person, but I’ve never considered abstinence. I don’t think that’s anything to feel sorry about.”

Dempsey, who says it would probably take him a few minutes to remember the names of each woman he’s had sex with, doesn’t think about being judged.

“It’s my choice, and it’s not a privilege for later,” he says. “It’s a form of expression for now.”

Howard has had regrets about losing her virginity and other decisions she has made about sex but says she doesn’t let it get to her.

“You know, I’ve had mornings in the past when I woke up and thought, ‘What was I doing?’” Howard says. “But I just try to learn from the mistakes I’ve made and move on.”

Dempsey, Syme and Howard all say they could not have saved themselves for marriage.

“I don’t know what things would be like if I had waited,” Howard says. “But I know I wouldn’t have had the patience to find out.”

“It’s my choice, and it’s not a privilege for later. It’s a form of expression for now.”

Carson, while firm in her stance, says it has not been easy.

“I won’t lie, it’s hard sometimes,” Carson says. “Not knowing when I’ll be married is difficult, but I trust that God will keep me strong.”

Morgan agrees. She calls herself “boy crazy” and marvels how she’s made it this long.

“I get really frustrated, and sometimes I ask God how much longer I’ll have to wait,” Morgan says. “He hasn’t given me a straight answer yet, but he does give me patience.”

Rachel Myers (rlmyers1@kent.edu )

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